"I Am Very Sad That I Was Not Martyred Like Them"

By: Samah Mahmoud Mental Health Worker Gaza Community Mental Health Programme

Wednesday, a day in June, wasn't an ordinary day that Jehad and his friends were dreaming of. They were hoping for a nice and joyful day to play and enjoy their times. Jehad and his friends went to play at the evacuated land of Kefar Darom settlement in the middle of Gaza Strip. They used to go to this place repeatedly to spend their leisure time in playing and entertainment as they found it suitable to practice their hobbies, such as; playing football and racing competitions. However, winds blow counter to what ships desire.

While they were fully engaged in playing, they heard an intensive flying of a drone plane. The noise became closer and closer, yet they didn't pay any attention for it, since they became used to the sound of the Israeli airplanes flying continuously at low altitudes in the sky of Gaza Strip. They proceeded to play. But, suddenly they heard a heavy fire shelling. In response, they tried to escape and hide away from the fire, yet they didn't find any safe place that may protect them; it was an open area. At that moment, Jehad hid in a sewage hole and his peers followed him seeking protection. Meanwhile, they heard a huge, close explosion that has shaken the entire area. Jehad describes the scene: "I didn't realize the source of the explosion, nor its location; I didn't see anything; but, we noticed tremendous dust and smoke rising from the hole which we were hiding in. I, then, realized that the plane has targeted us. The fired rocket has converted my friends into torn limbs. I couldn't recognize them as the scene was very horrible. The wounds and burns changed the features of their bodies". Five of Jehad's friends were killed instantly, while he was hit by the shrapnel of the fired rocket all over his body. He was drowning in a pool of blood. At this moment, ICRC staff and an ambulance reached the place of the shelling to evacuate the injured and the bodies. Jehad described that scene saying: "my friends' bodies and I were transferred in the same ambulance, which made me more fearful and sad. In our way to the hospital, I was detecting my body trying to ensure that I did not loose any parts. I could not believe that I was alive and could not believe that I did not loose any part of my body as happened to my friends.

Jehad feels very guilty for loosing his friends. In this regard, he says: "I feel guilt and pains as I am the cause of my friends' martyrdom…had I not hidden in the sewage hole, they wouldn't have been killed. I am very sad that I wasn't martyred like them; I hope to join them as their images don't leave my mind; I cannot forget them or stop thinking about them. Nowadays, I can hardly sleep and I have horrible dreams and nightmares. I cannot talk to anybody and I became very irritable. I prefer to stay at home, and not to go to the sea as I used to".

As a part of our role, Gaza Community Mental Health Programme (GCMHP) team of crisis intervention visited Jehad in his home. The psychologist conducted a debriefing session for the Jehad and encouraged him to narrate the incident and its impacts on his behavior and performance. Then, they reassured him of his health and what has happened with him is just a normal reaction for the trauma he has was exposed to, and for the unusual situation that he went through. Psychological support and counseling sessions both at the community center and home were also provided to Jehad in order to ensure that he is functioning normally in his daily life.

In addition, the sessions were aiming at promoting the role of the family and guiding them to look after Jehad in order to get out of the withdrawal symptoms that he is going through. Also, they have to help him cope normally, free of panic, anxiety, and agony. More recently, he is under recovery of his wounds that were caused to him during the incident, except for the injury in his leg. Moreover, he became more aware of the situation that happened to him and became less nervous and has the capacity to bear and confront the traumatic incident he encountered.