‘Alone’

Fathia Iz Al Deen Mussa, 18-years old, from the Al-Sabra area of Gaza City, stated the following in an affidavit given to Gaza Community Mental Health Programme after the end of the Israeli war on Gaza.

Fathia Iz Al Deen Mussa:

“I was the only one left in the house, I did not want to leave until my parents, brothers and sisters were evacuated and taken to the hospital. Although, I knew I was deceiving myself, hoping they were still alive.

In fact, my family members were pronounced dead and I wished that I had died with them. Instead, I was left alone. We waited for the bodies of my family members to be brought to our house, so I could pay my last respects, but they never came.

The bodies were torn apart beyond recognition, scattered everywhere outside the house. It was too difficult to identify them.

Two and a half months later, I am still afraid to be alone, even sometimes when I am by myself in the bathroom. I have problems sleeping, remembering the accident. I will never forget seeing the blood and the torn body parts of my family members scattered around our home.”

I was sitting in my room talking to my sister-in-law Heba, 24-years old, and my sister Hannen, 17-years old. I stood up and while we were talking, suddenly we heard a huge explosion which rocked the house.  Immediately wreckage from walls and windows began falling on us.

I ran to the adjacent room where my nephews, Iz Al Deen, 4-years old and Zain, 4-months old were hiding.  Then I ran out of the house, but I could not see anything because of the heavy smoke that filled the air. My sister Sabreen, 19-years old, and her fiancé were also in the house. I began shouting to them to help extinguish the fire which had engulfed our house.

I ran to the living room and was shocked to find my brother Mahmoud raising his hands and praying to God. His face was totally burnt and he was bleeding heavily. He asked me for help.  I brought a bottle of water and started to douse his face while he was lying on the ground. One of our neighbors was taking my mother out of the house, and I began helping her. When I put my hands on my mother to help her, she looked at me and smiled. After that she closed her eyes forever.

Then I saw the body of my brother Waheed, 29-years old, lying on the ground beneath the fallen rubble. He was severely burnt, to the extent that smoke was emanating from his body.  I sat beside him as he died, and I touched his face for the last time.

I saw my father, 52-years old, lying on the ground, bleeding heavily from a head trauma. His neck was torn and smoke was emanating from his body.  When I tried to move towards him, I found myself frozen. This tragic scene continued.

The body of my brother Mohammed, 24-years old, was torn into pieces. I extended my hands to help him, and I felt them covered in blood. I felt helpless.

Then I remembered my younger sister Noor, 16-years old, fearing that she was buried under the ruins of the house. I started looking for her among the corpses where I found her body. The flames lashed around her body scorching her long hair. I was in shock.

I waited with my brother, Mahmoud’s body until the ambulance came and took him to the hospital. Then I saw my brother, Ahmed 27-years old, lying on the ground near the house entrance. His body was totally burnt, and his right hand and both legs were torn from his body.

After taking the bodies and injured people out of our house, I went to my grandfather Abu Sameer Al Jarah’s house together with my sisters Hannen and Sabreen. We stayed at my grandfather's house the whole night, but we could not sleep because we were in a state of panic.  We did not know anything about my family. I could not understand what was happening to me. I was slightly injured in my leg, but I did not feel it until it started to hurt me later that night. Shrapnel and glass were removed from my leg the following day. My brother Mahmoud was taken to Sheifa Hospital in Gaza City where he stayed for three-days. He was then transferred to Al-Madi Military Hospital in Egypt where he remains.

Clinical Analysis:

Prepared by: Rawaia Hamam and Insherah Zakout.

After the end of the Israel’s Operation Caste Lead, a team of GCMHP social workers and professionals including Insherah Zakout and Rawia Hamam visited the Mussa family.

The family suffered from several symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), including insomnia, nightmares, and loss of appetite. Also, they suffered from numbness, hopelessness and depression.

The team prepared a therapeutic plan for the family which included an ‘emotional debriefing’ to give them the opportunity to express their painful feelings and to describe the event in detail. Also, the team talked to them about the events and the symptoms, and the reactions which are considered as normal in such cases using psycho-education approach of therapy.  

The team also stressed the importance of enhancing the social support network and working on correcting negative feelings and thoughts. During working with them, the team concentrated on the individuals' positive points of strength, and helped them plan for their future. Also, one of the girls agreed to join the Women’s Empowerment Project of the programme and she was trained in some techniques that may help alleviate PTSD symptoms, such as deep breathing and relaxation. The family is receiving their treatment through weekly home visits. After following up Fathia’s case, she showed a great improvement and started to talk to other people. She also started thinking about working and depending on herself.