Where Shall I Go? Who Will Help me to Be a Good Guy?
By: Rawya Hamam
Community Mental Health Worker

Mahmoud is a 12-year old child, living in Al-Shejaeya neighborhood in Gaza Strip with his nine siblings and ranks number 7 among them. Mahmoud is a member of the mediation team in his school. He narrates his story:

"I am well known as trouble-maker guy, and in the same time, I am the only one who can end trouble and disputes in the school, and even outside the school. I hope to be a good guy, yet neither home nor school give me this chance to be so. In the school, for instance, 'I am not good at all; I cannot read or write; I tried very hardly to be good student, yet I have no one to teach me; my family is uneducated; even the neighborhood where I live I don’t find any one who can teach me any alphabet; it was known as fools' nest. I go to school without making my homework, frankly, because I cannot. As a result, the teacher began punishing me, thinking that he will make me in this way more intelligent and genius. He doesn’t know that I will escape from school, especially in his lecture. I challenge every one including the school principal to catch me. He cannot make me write the homework in this way, yet I will hate the school; the place that may make a good guy out of me.

Even when I returned to home, holding a certificate full of red circles (F. marks), my father attacked me and began beating. Once, I escaped from him when he was beating me; as a result, his arm was broken as it hit the wall. I felt very sad and fled away from my home. However, my mother told me: 'you are the cause behind what has happened'. So, I felt guiltier, and realized that I cannot be a good guy anymore.

I used to ascend the near hill to watch amusingly the militants training. I found them running and practicing harsh activities. Though, I follow them; and run behind them. They screamed at me and said ' you are still a child, go back home."