The Agony of Loss

On Monday January, 5^th at four o’clock P.M, my family decided to flee the house and go to my aunt’s house, Fadia in Sheik Radwan Quarter because we were so terrified after the shelling of one of our neighbor’s houses. I left the house together with my father, my brothers Fadel, Isam, Hashem, my mother Nahla, and my sisters, Sameera, Fatima and Yasmine. My brother, Mohammed and his wife went to their relatives’ house in Al Sheik Radwan too, but my uncle Moeen, his children and grandmother as well as my uncle Hussein stayed in the house downstairs. At around 2 o’clock P.M, my Uncle Hussein called my father and told him that our neighbor’s house was bombed and totally demolished after it had been evacuated following warnings by the Israeli army. On the next day, my father asked us to return to our house to clean it after the shelling of our neighbor’s house which caused a lot of damage to ours. We returned to the house, cleaned it and had lunch there. At around 2:30 P.M, we heard some explosions close by, and then one of our neighbors told us that two rockets hit the adjacent farm. We thought that it could have been a warning shell, and so the adjacent mosque “Abu Bakir Al Sideek Mosque” would be targeted next, which is located direct behind our house.

We told everybody in the house to stay downstairs. After five minutes, at around 3 o’clock P.M, another shell hit the adjacent farm, which is separated from our house by a fence. After the shell hit, I escaped together with our neighbor, Mohaned hiding ourselves behind the house. At that time most of the people who were standing in that place escaped, but after few moments they came back to see what happened. After that I heard a very strong explosion, and then I could not see anything around me because of the heavy smoke which was in the whole place.

Ziyad Sameer Shafeeq Deeb, born in 1986 and studies in Al Aqas University at the Department of Design and Decoration also stated in his affidavit which was given to GCMHP under oath: “At that time I raised my hands and prayed to God, and all people around me were praying to God. When I opened my eyes I saw my cousin Mohammed looking at me and trying to stand up, but he fell again on the ground. I was laid on the ground above my brother Mohammed, whom I felt that he was dead because his body was covered with blood.

When I tried to stand up, I found that my legs were amputated. At that time when I looked around me, all what I saw was blood and bodies everywhere. The only one I felt that he was alive, was my cousin, Mohammed. Next to my right hand was my cousin, Aseel who was dead too. When I looked north I found my father on the ground, and was severely bleeding.

I also saw my grandmother sitting on her chair, but she was not moving, and so I realized that she died. This is all what I saw at that moment because I could not move. They were in different places, some were dead or injured and others were buried under the ruins without seeing them. At that time, I felt that the ambulances took a lot of time to have access to our place. The first one who came to the place was our neighbor, Awni Farahat who worked hard to help us, but whenever he tried to help anyone, he would him them dead. He was looking for anyone who could be alive to help him, but he could not do anything to help us. After that many people came and then the ambulances came.

Then I was taken to “Kamal Odwan Hospital” where I saw a lot of injured and dead people there. When I reached the hospital, the doctors started to dress my wounds. Then it was discovered that I was injured in my right hand, my finger was amputated and I was also injured in my abdomen, a matter which made the doctors refer me to “Shefa Hospital”. When I reached the hospital, the doctors saw my case, and accordingly I was taken to the operating theater. When I woke up after the operation, I saw the doctors looking for an empty place to my uncle Hussein who was taken out of the operating theater. When I woke up I asked one of the people in the hospital about my family, he told me that they were fine. However, I knew that they all died because I remembered what I saw after the Israeli shelling.

On the next day, my uncle, Isam visited me in the hospital and when I asked him about my father, he told me that he died. Then he asked me if I knew who died after the shelling, and I told him what I witnessed. After that he wanted to leave to prepare for my family funeral, but before that I asked him whether there was someone else. Then he told that my father Sameer, 42 years, my brother Mohammed 24 years, my sister Fatima, 21 years, my brother Isam, 13 years, and my uncle’s wife Amal, 37 years died all.”

He also told me that my cousins Mohammed, 16 years, Aseel, 9 years, Alaa’, 19 years, Mustafa, 13 years, Noor, 4 years, and my grandmother, Shama, 71 years died too. Then he told me that my sister-in-law, Ahlam was in Kamal Odwan Hospital and was slightly injured. After a week I was referred to Mubarak Hospital in Egypt on 11/1/2009 where I received first aid, but after two hours I was referred to “Al Madi Armed Forces Hospital” in Cairo. When I was in Egypt, I was thinking all the time about my ability to return to my house in that place. When I returned from Egypt, I was taken to my house in an ambulance, and then I saw the rest of my family who survived death. At that moment I was very happy, to the extent that I forgot what happened to us because I was surrounded by them and all people whom I love and came to visit me.

GCMHP team and professionals visited Ziyad and his family. After following up his case, it was noticed that he was suffering from some psychological symptoms of “Post traumatic Stress Disorder” PTSD, including insomnia, nightmares, loss of appetite, and avoidance. He also lost hope and the desire to interact with others.

The team prepared a therapeutic plan for the family which included emotional debriefing to give them the opportunity to express their painful feelings and the ability to describe any event in details. They also talked to them about the events, the symptoms and the reactions that can be normal or abnormal using concentration on the psycho-education technique. The team also stressed on the importance of enhancing the social networks and working on correcting false feelings and thoughts.

During their work with the family, the team concentrated on the individuals’ positive points of strength, to move beyond their experiences of loss and suffering. The team also concentrated on helping them in planning for their future. They were also trained in how to practice some techniques that may alleviate troubling symptoms, including deep breathing and relaxation.